Message #40619 From SCARAMOUCHE, 11-4-85, 15:19

Could be, Wizzard, but even so there are no hanging questions or bits of

mystery to pull the reader into the next scene. It may be premature to have the captain die -- but that seems to offer the most possibilities by creating a significant power vacuum. At any rate, the scene should, I think, have included something that would raise a specific question in the reader's mind and cause her or him to read the next scene the get the answer. In terms of story, I think it would also be better if Hrin were a little more suspicious of these people; if they cooperate too readily, the writer sacrifices some tension that could provide energy for the story.

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